Turn On, and Tune In!!!

We have this thing called a voip program folks…

At the moment, it’s Discord. Try it out. Do you need a working Mic? No. Can you sit in the channel and simply listen while some of us argue over silly things like ‘Where’d all these stripper zombies come from?’ Sure!

The point is, just because you’re off in another game doesn’t mean this community can’t still hang out together. What, you never had a discussion about something while playing a video game outside of another game that someone else was playing… Really?

I can’t help but notice an awful lot of us ‘Online’ in Discord but off doing whatever. Jump into the General channel and lounge a bit, will ya’? Worst case, we can always make new sub-channels if the moaning and groaning becomes to much for those of you that need it. XD


“..You might want to throttle back a bit, kid.”

The entrance to the track was a burnt out tunnel that cut underneath one of the myriad of lakes populating the wastelands these days. After the military’s “Operation BBQ,” the majority of the surface was baked thoroughly to the point where most if not all the acidic rain that fell these days simply pooled up in low-laying areas instead of draining away naturally. The tunnel had become the impromptu rally point for all the racers in the area. There were no gates to omit those that wanted a piece of the action. If you wanted in, simply point your rolling heap towards the opening and head down the winding path until you reached the paddock. After that, it was just a matter of choosing your position and waiting for the gate to swing open, signaling the start of the race.

He always picked the spot all the way on the far end. Having that wall there tight against his right side made things a little easier. His first time there, the one on his left smelled of rotting shit and the racer to his right cried incessantly about his lost babies. At least this spot left him a small semblance of calm as the racers slowly pulled up to their respective spots. The creaking from above on the catwalk meant only one thing. The race’s organizer was in the house and would soon tug against the chain crank that held the starting gate in place. There were no ‘Ready, Set, Go’ commands, there were no racing trees to illuminate your apprehension. No, there was simply the heavy-booted clank of metal plating being pinched against crap spot welds keeping the structure together.

The footsteps crossed overhead towards the center where all the racers knew the gate crank handle was waiting to be molested. His right hand clenched the crumbling bit of rubber still left on the accelerator as his 2-stroke burped out a few puffs of cancer in the enclosed area. Proper ventilation wasn’t exactly something that a lot of people gave two shits about these days. Dying in your sleep because of cancer was a holiday compared to having your stomach torn open as you choke on your blood.

“Hey..! Moron!! Pull it back a bit, will ya!? I plan on living long enough to enjoy the tokens once I win ’em tonight.” He cut the crusty figure to his left a stink eye that would silence most high school hallways but the grizzled man just kept glaring at him. He yanked his right hand a bit and the bike belched up another wispy cloud of carbon into the crowded little room. “I’m warning ya’ kid…” The metal-on-metal grinding from above silenced everything in that cramped holding pen as all the racers snapped to attention. Feet were pulled up onto their pegs, engines were revved, goggles and welder masks yanked down over eyes as the gate began to shimmy open.

The racers all lept forward up the small ramp and down the path that led through the opening where the gate once stood. All except for the kid on the far right point. He bogged down his motor with all that revving and now all he could do was wait until the tiny motor had a chance to ‘dry’ up.


The race track has begun to take form in the wastelands, People!!! Unlike last time, where the track was pretty small and circular, this new track will be rather expansive as it snakes it’s way through a local town. Expect to race above and below the cracked blacktop as you wind your way through the wastelands of Arizona. Stay tuned for further updates as I get closer to releasing the Minibike Race Track for !ZombieStomp!.


The MONOLITH – Scenario Rules

Now that we’ve had our first somewhat successful run of the Maze Event I can get down to promoting it properly. As such…

Welcome One, Welcome All!!!!

The Monolith Murder Maze Event is Officially Open to the Server!!!!!


Depending on the size of the participant group there can be 1 – 3 Hunters chasing down 1 – ??? Survivors.

In keeping with the 80’s classics, the Hunter will always be a present issue during the Event. If a Survivor manages to blast one dead, they respawn back at the beginning of the Maze where they’ll have to work their way up the levels to get you after a 30 second ‘HOLD’ period.

As for the Survivor, you only get one life, so be quick, be smart, but most of all, be quick as you try to navigate your way through the many twists and turns the Monolith has to offer.


Survivor(s) – (1) Flashlight each, (1) Random quality Blunderbuss (10 – 50) BB Ammo Wads – Size of group dependent.

Hunter(s) – (1) Hunting Knife, (1) Night Vision Goggles, (1) Random quality Chainsaw, (50 – 1k) Gas/Fuel units – Size of group dependent


It’s easy really. As the Survivor, your task is to navigate the Monolith’s numerous levels until you reach the Winner’s Platform. Upon completing the Event, the Winner(s) will receive 5K in tokens as well as any (1) item of grape quality currently allowed on the Server.

Any items you may come across in the Monolith are yours to keep, if you manage to win. There might be rare recipe’s, or ammo to a weapon that’s hard to come by, or some turds… Who knows.


This IS a pvp event. If the thought of dying is just too much for your gentle sensibilities, that’s fine. Nobody’s twisting your arm to join, but if you do – you run a decent chance at getting killed. Then again, those that play the Hunter role do as well, so remember that as you blast their head’s off with your hand cannon.

If you die in the Monolith, your bag is forfeit. Anything you managed to have on you is left behind for the next schlub to stumble across. There will be no, “Can I grab my bag when it’s over???” If you want it back, run the Event again and win… It’s that simple.


If this Event picks up in popularity, I’ll create a Point System where the Survivors can accrue points for killing the Hunters. These points can be used to obtain a slight advantage with certain in-game items such as an energy drink/coffee, or a shitty pistol with a few rounds in the clip. Defeat enough Hunters and you may even get the chance to run the maze with Pipe Bombs… lulz.

As for the Hunters, your task is simple. You must kill them before they reach the end. After you’ve participated once as a Hunter, you will then be added to the available list of certified Hunters that receive rewards based on the kills you rack up in the Monolith Murder Maze Event. Rewards such as Picking your starting point in the Maze when the event begins, advanced armor to last longer, a Hunter’s field kit to stay healthy as you track down the Survivors…

This is all still in its planning phase for now until I see a genuine clamor for those that want to play the Event. As demand grows, so will the Point System’s priority for the players that want it.


This is the easy one, folks…

When I’m on, The Event is Active. If some of the other Admins want to operate the Event, that’s up to them, but this was my undertaking so I take full responsibility for being accessible to you, the player base. There is no entrance fee, so simply catch me and ask to start it.


And now for my final thought –

This is a PvP event, people. Belly-Aching and piss/moan rants will not be tolerated. I do this so the server can have a little fun and it gives those who want a little violence a chance to cut loose without getting banned.


The MONOLITH – Test Run…

That’s right, kiddies!!!

The Monolith Murder Maze Event had it’s first quasi-successful run last night and the survivor got as far as the 3rd floor…

That’s it, she got as far as the third floor. Do you have what it takes to go the distance and make it to the Winner’s Platform?!

Event Aftermath:

Participants – Lyrdkaoz & Myschyef

Hunter – Myself

Survivor Equipment – Quality 300 Blunderbusses and 100-ish wads of ammo.
– Flashlight

Hunter – Quality 300 Chainsaw w/ enough gas to qualify for OPEC
– Hunting Knife
– Night Vision Goggles

The Event started shortly after Server time ‘4:00am’. From there, we experienced a slight issue with Lyrd freezing up, so, as the dutiful partner in crime that she is, Mys pressed onward and left her hubby there as bait. Once the Door at the base of the structure was sealed and locked the Hunter took up position on the 3rd floor and worked his way down to them. In the future I may change this but for now, given that it was just 2 survivors, it is what it is.

The scenario was set with the rules as follows: Hunter can respawn but starts back at the beginning of the Maze whereas the Survivor only gets one life. I’m proud and slightly irked to say Mys dropped my candy ass twice. The first time she blew my head clear off. I fumbled with changing over to the Chainsaw and well… Yea. ._.

Upon re-spawning outside, I quickly ran back up the steps and into the Maze only to see Lyrd standing there, about 10 feet inside the Maze spinning around in place. I took pity on the helpless schlub and quickly bypassed him there in the dark. Speaking of dark… Some of you may think it’s unfair for me, the Hunter, to have NVG’s… Yea, well.. STFU. Certain times of the server day, that place get’s pitch black and the dim grainy lime colored effect is about as useful as a poopy-flavored lollipop. More than once I had to just sit there, crouched in a corner waiting to do anything cuz’ I was blind while I listened to Mys poke around the Maze with her flashlight.

Anyways, After my first defeat, I apparently spawned in half-floating, half-gliding around the floor. Didn’t seem to matter though because Mys hit me hard enough to knock the NVG’s off. I panicked, ran around in the dark but ultimately she blew my head off for a second time. Needless to say, I was slightly miffed.

3rd re-spawn and I haul ass upstairs. At one point I swap to the chainsaw, purposely revving the engine while scraping it along the walls as I call out over the game’s voip…

“..I’m coming to get you little girl… My Saw is soo hungry, why won’t you come and play? It wants to meet you..”

I’d like to say it helped, I know running into her around the one blind angle in the numerous hallways made me jump as I fumbled for the ‘5’ key. In the end, Myschyef managed to make it to the 3rd level where I heard her constant leaps and falls. Somehow she got past me on level 2 and shimmied up the ladder to 3. By the time I made it up to the 3rd floor she was platforming her way across the room. I thought she saw me, but I guess not as I revved the chainsaw once again as she got closer. She lept to my platform, I swiped at her with the knife, eventually the saw fired up and I gutted her there in the ladder-well.


In conclusion, Survivor – MYSCHYEF- has attained the title of mastering Levels 1 & 2 as well as besting the Hunter -Tyger- twice.

Do you have what it takes to reach the Winner’s Platform and claim the title of Server Champion as well as 5k in tokens and any item of grape quality???

We’ll see…



P.S. In case some of you are rolling your eyes at me being the Hunter in the Maze Event I created… ¬†Yea, well, whatever. I had to use Gmode just to get out of the damned thing. It’s THAT tough of a maze.


-UPDATE- 5-9-2017
***As of now, Ozz and I(but pretty much mostly Ozz)are currently working on fixing the pvp allowance issues that go into effect once you step foot inside the Monolith Maze Terror Event. As soon as the issue is resolved the Event will go LIVE***

Ok… So, a few days back I used my ‘Beta Testers’ to do a quick run through, sans lube, and issues presented themselves. Naturally, I was the bastion of grace and humility as things became obvious to both me and my ‘testers’ that this Event would not fire up as soon as I wanted it to. Days later, 3 broken monitors, and a hobo burnt to a crisp for no other reason than because I bought lighter fluid from the store across the street…

After conferring with Ozz, as well as a few other riff-raff *cough-War-cough* it’s been decided that the issues present will slightly hamper the original design. So, rather than shit-can the entire build we will use it as a PvP Maze Event!!!!!

That’s right kiddies..

It’s a Tower, that you can still get killed in, except you only have Blunderbusses as your weapon of choice. The killer – One of the Server’s own, or more likely Ozz because he cackles like a school girl when killing things with the chainsaw.

This event will be ‘Free’ to enter. You may keep whatever items you find inside, however, if you die, your bag stays where it is. After all, building this thing took a while. It requires the blood of the foolish.

Manage to make it to the end without dying? 5K in tokens as well as an item of decent – to – downright awesome quality.

Manage to end up with your insides flopping around as you bleed out? We’ll just step on you on our way towards the next level…

Stay tuned as I prepare THE MONOLITH for game time!!!